Did I really just have a stroke?

Pardon the spelling and grammar errors…..I have a brain injury. this blog going forward is in its raw form.

As I lie in a hospital bed this morning, at 47yrs old with ekgs leads and ivs sticking out of my body, I’m in a super vulnerable position where i have to take stock of my life.

I’m a young mom, wife, grandmother, daughter, sister and friend, yet yesterday, it all was a blur in a matter of seconds. I didn’t know who I was , where I was or what was going was going on. I woke up in the ER in a CAT Scan machine with doctors trying to rule out a stroke. I couldn’t talk or move and was terrified. I was frozen in my own body. I don’t remember yesterday much.

After lots of meds, I’m able to talk again and walk but I still have some level of falling (vertigo).

I thought all night “what if I hadn’t recovered, what would that have been like for me, my family, the people I care about? How would I be able to serve veterans with my full heart?” I cried about how I was grinding so hard for everyone but left nothing for ME even though I preach ‘self care’.

This incident is clearly a message that things REALLY NEED to change in my life. Trying to be everything to everyone and everything just does not work for me anymore.

I even felt anxiety every time someone would ask me what my handles are on social media, I would wince as I said I’m no longer on anything but FB.

It’s time I lay a lot of hats down and only wear those that serve God’s purpose for my life. All good things aren’t “God things”. I get that message loud and clear.

Today: Take stock. really look at yoursefl and reflect on who you really are not what you want people to see.

Are there things you are committed to that you have no passion for but feel stuck to them because that’s what you’ve been doing for so long? What others know you as? What others expect of you? Because of what people would say if you walked away from it? From them?

I’m not suggesting you bounce on people and things. im not of the cancel culture but ia m of self preservation- 100%.

I’m just asking you to consider yourself 1st. Be honest with yourself. If you have not heard of The Emotionally Healthy Woman, it will help you in that journey. I literally started reading it this past weekend.