nevertheless, she persisted!

I have a fond appreciation for how delicate and precious life is. I’m so “Unbothered”!

I had an awesome opportunity to be a part of the B.A.L.D. (Brave, Audacious, Limitless, Dynamic) & Beautiful Collection photo shoot by Donnamaria Robinson Jones of Circa Life Images.

Honestly, I wasn’t going to go. I was stuck drowning in depression, anger and frustration because my brain would not allow me to do my “normal” things like reading and writing. I couldn’t spell common words, I was struggling with memory loss and I was in no condition to drive a vehicle. I was totally dependent on other people.

The depression was suffocating me and I found myself calling the Veterans Crisis line to talk to somebody who could help me get out of that heavy, heavy funk. I just couldn’t see beyond what I had lost and my emotions were all over the place.

I think it is amazing that she titled my photo “Unbothered”. This is so on point and true. Since the TIA, I really am unbothered by what others think and have decided I will live life on my terms after what I experienced. Hell, what do I have to lose?

I’m sure you are asking why now?

Why not before?

Because honestly, I have been living my life under certain expectations. Whether it was my parents, husband, church, society….I followed the rules so as not to rock the boat. You see, I wanted to be the good, obedient, Christian woman and play by “the rules”. That’s my truth. Yes, I was travelling and speaking all over, but I also carried loads of responsibilities that honestly were not mine to carry and it’s the carrying that load of burdens that almost killed me.

If I can be so frank, I was mothering my children like their very lives depended on me even though they are teens and young adults. I was putting up with (for a lack of better words) crap that I should have shut down at the very beginning. I was the dutiful wife and church member even though on the inside I was yelling, “I don’t want to do this or that!!” But I did those things, I played the part and look what it got me………laid out in the hospital, not once but twice!

This stroke has shown me that I really truly have one life to live and I am blessed to have survived. No longer will I pigeon-toe myself or dim my light for fear of what “others may think or say”.

So going forward, I will persist as I heal and grow from this. I will live like it’s my last day on earth. I will be the best version of me even in the confines of the limitations my brain currently places on me.

I pray that I can help other women along the way.